Written essays about Zen and our practice by members of our Sangha.
Nothing Different, Everything Different
Being on the Zen path feels, in many ways, like nothing different from how I lived before becoming part of the Sangha. And yet, at the very same time, everything feels different. I have always been a caring, loving, and compassionate person. Giving to others came naturally to me, often without thinking. Sometimes perhaps too naturally. I gave freely of myself, often to the point of exhaustion, and many times I was left wondering why I suffered so deeply when my intentions were kind and loving.
Before Zen, I was already searching without realizing it. I was already trying to understand suffering, connection, and the meaning behind the way we move through life. In many ways, I feel I have been “zening” all my life. But being consciously on the path is different. It is a mindful and steady opening of the eyes — and not only the eyes, but all the senses. A gradual awakening to how I perceive the world, how I react to it, and how suffering quietly forms within that process.
Zen has helped me become more aware of myself, not in a self-centered way, but in a deeply honest way. My senses have become sharper and more attuned to observing what arises within and around me. I have started to notice my attachments, my fears, my expectations, and also the moments of beauty and peace that were always present but often overlooked.
The path is not about becoming someone different. It is about becoming more awake to what already is. For me, Zen is learning to stay present with life exactly as it appears — even when it is uncomfortable, uncertain, painful, or incomplete. And within that staying, there are moments of peace. Not because suffering disappears, but because I am no longer constantly running from it. I am learning to sit with what is, to breathe with it, and to trust the unfolding of this life just as it is.
Written By Eva Suiren Herczegh
